(Various Poems and Songs I have written for use in Threshold.)
Last modified January 5, 2004.
![[--------------------------------------------------------------------]](graphics/line3.gif){kind=small}
|
Awaitin' a Sail Barick's Balls Be Wary Beggar Psion Bollick's Folly Bouncy Drunk Gnomies Common Man Cowardly Thief Daenon's Valor Fall of the Defiler Fishing Woes Holy Cow! Ickery Anarch Making an Elder Mayor Slayer On the Subject of Flying Orc Hunt Putting on Airs The Saga of Me, Part One Song of the Littlist Fighter |
![[Elidia]](graphics/elidiasm.jpg) ![[New!]](graphics/newflipr.gif){kind=small} Image drawn by Darrel C. Smith Click on the image above to see his gallery! |
|
Where, oh where have the sailors gone? Oh where can that cutter be? I've been waiting here since the break of dawn and Not a ship do I see! Where, oh where do the sailors go When they're not fighting a squall? I never see'm in GG or J4 They're never here when I call! How many times have you gone to the docks And waited all day for a trip? Why can't we have a master who will keep his hands on his ship? |
|
Deepchill 14th in Two Twenty-eight Was a day we'll remember a while The day when the very Aether declared: "Go kick Barick's arse in style!" Folks scurried hither and yon to get in a kick as the Gods tossed him hither and yon. And we heard the suggestion called from above "A snot-suit would look quite well on." Then did I run to start in with the shower raining snot on the fool from above, Then ran back down to the center of town to see the effect of this love. What kind of fool dares defy the Gods To their face, in front of all? "What happened to your brains, dear cat? Did they slice'm off shaving your balls?" And then he lobbed missiles at my head and died with the guillotine's snick. Thank the Aether they chose to deliver us from fools like that magecat Barick! |
A song about Elemire
|
There once was in Sable a cheap little psion who made it his habit to beg around town He did it so much, built up quite a reputation So listen and hear how his tricks would go down Guildmaster Xar happened once 'pon young Beggar in the bank, where apprentice asked master for money, "I fell asleep in the wrong place and dropped all I had." This happens, we've all been there; it's not very funny. Master Psion pointed out that they stood in the bank thus he could withdraw from his account what he would Beggar answered his account was quite barren This happens to all of us, too, or it could But Beggar was lying, and Psion masters know things like when their apprentices are lyin' to their face And Master then quoted to our friend Beggar Psion The full five orb sum he had as his account base Then there was the time that the Hammer of Tempest was auctioning whips off in Chains, Chains Galore! Beggar Psion asked for one with a five orb pricetag then handed three danar, then 197 more He said he'd return with the rest of the money scooted off to the bank, and was back instantly Handed Hammer 3 danar and swore it was the full sum But how 203 danar's 5 orb is psion math beyond me! How does one cross silvery sheen for platinum orb shine? Was Beggar just stalling, so Horsa'd pay his bill? Finally, he coughed up the orb with an "OOPS!" and a "sorry" Leaving Horsa, "I must apologise, he is but young still" Beggar Psion was always whining over the Mind "Temper something for -me-", always aggrivating "Anyone want to help with getting -me- this" Until all his guild mates dreaded his waking One fine Sojourn eve, he dared to kick Emi, A kick to the chest, hoping damage to cause Emirikol wasted no time in replying He squashed Beggar Psion to cheers and applause This is the point where I give you the moral: Be careful about the reputation you build For if you go on like our friend Beggar Psion You'll find the whole realm wants you killed! |
A song for Slythe and Wyden
|
Be wary o' the Ogre-lugs that roam the grassy plain. Be wary o' their crushing clubs, those are a leathal pain! Be wary o' the fearsome Crocs when you go hunt alone. N' be wary o' their fearsome teeth, they'll chew you to the bone! Be wary o' the Bandits, who can take all that ye got. Be wary o' them in the woods where they do lurk a lot! Be wary, child, of all o' these, "Survive" the Golden Rule, But know you that the worst o' all is to survive a Fool! Be wary of the Gethite priests, who fling the flaming 'corn! Be wary of it's fiery arc, or your face it may burn. Now if you've flaming 'corns to throw, be sure your aim is true And make damn sure that when you fling, you don't follow it in, too! |
|
I know we should not jeer the dead Or where some folks lay down their bed But Mortis' rule is full of fools And I should know, I've seen them go! I met a young dwarf in the middle of town To solve a riddle he would go down Again and again of his deaths would I hear Surely not all dwarves are such a pain in the rear? He'd been attacked by wild boars, he said And begged for a bowl to cover his head. A shortsword I happened to have to lend He ran straight back to find Mortis again. Then the badger did render poor Bollick to shreds And his whole concern was replacing his threads so again and again he would go back for more Until even his closest of friends lost the score I know we should not jeer the dead Or where some folks lay down their bed But Mortis' rule is full of fools And I should know, I've seen them go! |
A drinking tune commissioned by Quisallin
|
At Three foot and nine and Ninety-nine pounds We may not appear to be high off the ground, But I promise you this, what we lack in our height we make up in drinking and bouncing all night! [Chorus] Surrender or die! That is our cry! Give up your ale and don't you dare sigh! We'll polish your gems in a blink of an eye If you promise to not let our throats go dry! We are all gnomes of great renound. We drink our ale and bounce around. Those boring old sots who'd keep us dry, We'll prank'm until they surrender or die! [repeat Chorus] Give us yer armor, give us yer gems! We tinker while drinkin' and tinkerin' mends We'll give ya some wings or a spike you can try Just don't ever let our throats go dry! [repeat Chorus] |
A drinking song
|
I've never been a justicar I've never been a mage I've never changed the minds of men As I am not a sage Here, here, to the common man I am I raise a toast to my health And as for him who'll not drink with me Let's charge it to him and his wealth! I've never been to foreign docks I'm sure they're all the same In all the tales the bards will tell You'll never hear my name! Here, here, to the common man I am I raise a toast to my health And as for him who'll not drink with me I'll charge it to him and his wealth! |
A Song for Durgi
|
The wee little coward hid in his wee corner To wait 'til an easy victim entered the hall "I'm not going to risk my hide for the coin, though, I'll just grab the body of his foe as it falls." His ears they would perk, his slitted eyes shone. He would think "Easy coin for no work on my part!" He'd fondly recalled how he'd snapped up his loot At STEA events where he'd practiced his art. "I know what I'll do with my ill-gotten coin! I'll pay off my fiend friends to go slit their throats! By heaping up bounties on paragon heads Then they get the hassle, and I get to gloat!" It's been a few years since I saw our young friend Nursing a stub where his finger had been Last time I checked, he'd moved well on his path "In Twilight 237, slain by Divine Wrath" Even that punishment didn't impress our friend He murdered a Vivorian, he looted her mates And then, chased by churchmates and her angry spouse He hid in a jail cell lest he meet the same fate He threatened his Overlord in arrogant pride Got kicked out of his Clan. So low was his fall. Where could his decapitated head now reside? Surrounded by Swirling Blades up on the wall. |
(or how a one-eyed ranger saved the day)
|
In the time after Kleiborn's second visit to Sable In the days that came after the Gods spoke as One That most holy time the United Voices of th'Aether returned Marriage Rites, demanding respect for the bond. Two fools violated the marriage vow's sanctity, Indeed even their pledges to their Ethos Lord Despite leaning one good and one evil, they married An outrage! An affront to all of the Gods! Lord Bilanx cast out the offenders from his sight, declaring ALL GODS looked at them with disfavor. To see that they atoned for thier hineous presumptions Malvolio was ordered to punish them further Some time thereafter the two fools were slaughtered, throughout history nameless they'll always remain! The clerics were punished, and stripped of their powers They kneeled and prayed mercy, but no repite came Lord Bilanx proclaimed: "Your kneeling is meaningless compared to the gross disobedience I have witnessed." For this grave affront, in an ensuing invasion The Gods *kept* us on their Aethereal shitlist. Folk cried out in anguish, begging for mercy Calling all people to kneel and repent But how could we leave the city unprotected? So many dismissed this call penitant In the fray of the battle, one ranger with wisdom Knew the Aether would honor repentant sacrifice He offered to give up the one thing that meant more to him Than his honor, his pride, or even his own life. The God-given gift, treasured for generations His own blessed sword, the great Silverthorn If only the Aether would return Sable Their favor Farstrider would give up the prize so long worn The Gods, knowing Farstrider's soul, then relented And granted Their blessings. The invaders turned tail And fled from the city, Gods favoring the defenders Their advantage was over, they could not prevail Farstrider attempted his blade to surrender But Erosia stayed his hand, telling him Nay To keep Silverthorn as he no doubt would need it defending the realm, keeping invaders at bay And thus it was during the days not so ancient that One willing soul saved the city from fall. Remember, the Gods' gifts are blessings, not owed us To Gods be the glory, and thanks from us all |
A song about Kem, commissioned by Romrock
|
In the crisp Cuspis morning, in the year 254, Two Crimson-Eyed Blue Hawks arose to take flight Redbeard arose from his bed to the new dawn, Faithful Uglakaa soon appeared in his sight She'd brought him a breakfast, in grand dwarven style Arms loaded with foodstuffs that would burst one less stout. And as the two emerged into day and headed toward town They noticed Defiler Kem lurking about. Rushing past Doda's, our lovers decided To head in to Sable for Redbeard's best gear Panting for breath, then running still onward, Kem seemed a third, constant pain to the rear More following than joining, he harried the good dwarves Footstep for footstep up to Sable's gate Redbeard dashed to the Castle for his things Then back to his Love, who did faithfully wait. As She and He stood there on Regency roadway Kem came up to them, and mounted his attack A rush with his shield countered Kem's countless daggers And Ruby Broadsword slashed as Kem blew his horn back At first, our dwarf thought it might be but a sick joke, And tried to run off, but Kem kept right in tow. So Redbeard then put his whole heart to the battle And focused on the task, striking blow after blow. Fearing the onslaught, Kem took to his heels, But again and again was unable to flee. From Regency Row north and up t'ward the Griffon, Just north of the tavern, came the end of melee. One last wicked crunch of the Ruby Red Broadsword Felled Kem the Defiler just like a dead tree By the time Fynn and Gascoigne had heard and come running, There remained but a dead Geth, caught in treachery. |
|
Wielding my dark black and flexible pole I string up and tie on my hook with a grin. I'm going to bring home a fish or My soul! I'll never go fishing again! Using both arms or my shoulder rotation I send my line soaring to land with a plink! A sixty foot cast may gain me an ovation, But then I must reel it again through the drink. Why, little fishies, won't you just take a bite? I've been on this dock for a day and a night And Soon my poor sundress will be quite a fright But I'm not going home without one decent fight! Again and again, I send out one more pass And suddenly, I've hooked a fish! YIPPEE!!!!!! Thrashing about, it looks like a bass! Who knows? Maybe this time I'll harvest the sea! This frisky wee sea bass pulls hard on my rod; He's really quite strong and energetic right now. I let out some slack so he'll wear out his bod And now I can wipe the sweat from my brow. But then, as I'm steadily reeling it in there's a sudden, sharp jerk--it's a sign! He's slipped free! ACK! And if that wasn't enough, the little wet bastard has snapped my line! So I'll say that my fishie was big as a bear Because everyone knows it's a fisherman's sin. Next time I'll just buy me a catch, and I swear I'll never go fishing again! |
A Song for Xian's familiar
|
Xian's orb hit Haru Haru then punched Xian, who then cried out for his cow-- A mad attack beast, with big purple eyes-- The cow that shat upon Haru! It's Mookers, it's Mookers! Stay well away or you'll eep! It's Mookers, it's Mookers! Watch out! You'll be wading knee-deep! Now showered in dung The cow wasn't done... She turned and gave Haru a kick! Haru's plate did dent, as underhoof he went And Mookers did trample poor Haru! It's Mookers, it's Mookers! Stay well away or you'll eep! It's Mookers, it's Mookers! Watch out! You'll be wading knee-deep! |
A song for Malvolio
|
[Chorus] One-ery, two-ery, Ickery Ann Beat up th' Shrine monks as fast as ya can Weavy, squeavy, squaavy, sqoavy, Sic'm with yer serpent, loath-y. I'm a mighty Hegemon, run in fear ya punk! I'm so rough and ready, I can always down my monk! They may not be horrors or giants, but they're easy to defeat Besides, my serpent's hungry and he's hankerin' for meat [repeat Chorus] He's in there nearly every day, bloodying the walls. So if you ever find the time to pass the Sacred Halls Be mindful where you step and keep your eyes upon the floor; You wouldn't want to slip in all th' Anarch's bloody gore. [repeat Chorus] |
|
The foolish apprentices gathered around Deciding they had a meeting to call They had important issues to sound And debate in the Mage's Guild Hall "How does one make an elder?" a few of them talked. "Do you start with a spell or a gem?" "Perhaps there's a potion that we can concoct And then drink to make us like them!" "I think we can start emptying into a jug All the blood you can squeeze from a turnip." "Or tears of remorse from a murderous thug!" "Or a bit of an honest Gethsemanite's lip!" "And then you add coin!" said another young power. "Lots of orbs, crowns and danars that gleam It'll cut down a lot on the simmering hours While never endang'ring your dream." But then did a Master awake from his slumber, and set them to tasks, tearing meeting asunder. |
|
Sissypussy went to Kelnore on a Hoarfest morning With his trusty Malady to murder without warning [Chorus] Sissypussy sneakin' up Hit and run disaster If he has an audience He'll run off even faster Sissypussy was a wimp who beat up on the weaker Picking foes he knew quite well were positively meeker [repeat Chorus] Malady leaves quite a mark, you'd think it rather witless When you're fighting city hall, to leave behind a witness [repeat Chorus] |
First Runner-Up at King Borgia's Improvisation Poetry Contest, Seranus 25, 244
|
Did you ever wish that you could fly On golden wing though pale blue sky? More likely, knowing my lack of luck, I'd find myself by lightning struck. Or after soaring over vale and hill, find myself chained to mage's will. Oh, I know one way I could fly! Where, where is Hamdob? Let me try! No. I'm not flying. I'm instead here with spirits hovering overhead. Lady Vivoria? Was it much of a strain? I promise I won't let him fling me again! |
|
Over and over, north and east, then south and west again. Trudging the meadow from end to end, and side to side, and then, I think to myself, where could they be? Will they hide away all day? For I've seen no hide nor shadow or move to show that they want to play. Oh orcies, you damn ugly orcies... come out and dance with me! Oh orcies, you damn ugly orcies... come out and we will see! Oh orcies, you damn ugly orcies... do bring you danar along! Your fists may fly, but down you'll die as you come to dance my song! Finally, now as the stench hits my nose, I know I'm not alone, But why do they come to join my dance when they really need a soap loan? Dancing, they say 'tis best not to dance with orcs as dumb as a board- So tell me orc just how it feels to dance on the point o'my sword? Oh orcies, you damn ugly orcies... come out and dance with me! Oh orcies, you damn ugly orcies... come out and we will see! Oh orcies, you damn ugly orcies... do bring you danar along! Your fists may fly, but down you'll die as you come to dance my song! |
Phen's Song
|
Phen strutted about like a dawn-crowing cock telling all "I am the man!" He'd boast and proclaim HE was head of the guild 'Til the real GM heard of his plan. To say Master Riek was not quite amused would seem quite too little to me. And it wasn't that long 'til young Phen found himself washed up on the shores of the sea. So never pretend you are who you aren't (that is, outside of a play) Unless you like a dagger in your back or across your throat at the end of day. |
|
T'isn't easy to make it alone in this world But that's how I had my start Thrown to fend for myself in the meadows of Thrace by a mother who hadn't a heart Soon came the day I found myself caught in a failed and foiled gambit grabbed up by the scruff of my scrawny young neck and carried home to become a Romani pet Growing up in his tent could have been worse The Raki was great, though the food was a joke But in time it became quite apparant to me I never could really fit in with the folk Romani menfolk don't look for fur when they chase after their mates So I set my sights on exploring the world and left that campsite to seek out my fate Then came what some call that unfortunate day When I spoke up at Lamorak's sermon I cannot believe how ignorant I was then Our place in existance to question I'd like to thank Serith for taking the time to teach this loudmouthed young stray After that lecture, I have to admit He all but won me to his church that day I've since then discovered some wished me to die for my ignorant questions that day I'd like to take a moment now to thank Lamorak and others who chose not to slay Here, Here! to all who saved me my life and gave me the time I needed to grow For then I had not yet found a place to belong and still had some ways to go Sable's more inviting than home ever was Where I can earn coin while seeking ovation I rest with the Bards while I learn of the land And then came the day I found true invitation T'was on yet another of my adventuring journeys Between seeking my coin and resting a pace That fortunate day I stumbled my way into Herastia's loving embrace Her warmth was inviting, making me calm How could I not in turn respect Her? Once I had learned how she taught her dear son to respect and to serve all the Aether Out of his noble devotion did we not all gain? King Glamis led those astray back to the path Imagine our pathetic and shortened existance had the Aether decided to show us their wrath (Insert "Herastia, Our Guiding Light" here) The time now has come to draw this to an end So I'd like to now finish this chorus By thanking Brennen for letting me use this field And Yrizaria for the feast we've before us I'd also like to thank friends Alentar and Kiri And Zortyn, my darling, my beloved boy Wyden, Sodre and Delta who showed me the light And Qui, even though we are trading ethoi But time now has come to move on from the past And bring to an end this song I sing The Aether moves in mysterious ways Who knows what tomorrow may bring? |
|
Down in the sewers so flat Just me and a goblin or rat With all of my might, I get into the fight. I hit 'm like this just to miss'm like that. I've been down here all day and all night. My last torch no longer gives light. So I run like hell, get away from that smell and live to come back to the fight. Ah, but the tales that I'll tell! Some might think a stretch isn't swell That there's truth to be told-- but I think I'll be bold And lie in the Griffon as well! |
![[Reload Page]](graphics/reload.gif){kind=small}
![[Back]](graphics/go-back.gif){kind=small}
![[Free Speech Online Blue Ribbon Campaign]](graphics/bluecmpg.gif){kind=small}
![[Netscape Now!]](../graphics/now_button.gif){kind=small}
This page is Netscape Enhanced.
![[Click Here to Start]](../graphics/ie_animated.gif){kind=small}
This page can also be displayed correctly with the Microsoft Internet Explorer.
Copyright © 2004-2000 Elizabeth Skola Davis.
Copyright © 2004-2000 BEAMRIDER! Telecommunications, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
This page have been accessed times since September 1st, 2000.